Caduceus
by Eria
Summary: REPOST: Chapter 4, The continuation of the Hitachiin brothers birthday party commences!
1. Host Club cosplays Fushigi Yuugi style

_Author's notes: Hey all. I just recently got introduced to Ouran High School Host Club fandom. I love it! Unfortunately I have never touched the manga/scanlations. This is all based off of the first 17 episodes of the anime. :) This started as a plotbunny and morphed into this in a mere few hours._

_A big thank you goes out to **Experimental** for her encouragement, and **TheOneYouCallWe** & **Quatre Winner **for reading over it!_

_Enjoy!_

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People always make the assumption that as twins we somehow complete each other in and of ourselves. If that were true why do we play the game of 'us' versus 'them'?

True, it began as a maliciously fun, simple way to pass an otherwise boring day, this secret Hikaru and I shared, the knowledge of 'outsider' stupidity that we coveted. However…

'We are the superior ones', Hikaru began to boast the first year after elementary graduation.

It couldn't be then to confirm the truth about the intelligence of everyone else to ourselves. We don't play "Which one is Hikaru?" to look down on others, either. Hikaru and I already do that on a daily basis through less cumbersome means, though from me it's been a mock-up since we began high school. But that's only because I understand the purpose of the game.

'Nobody wins at it, that proves how stupid they are', he would brag, an arm around my shoulder as I nodded.

But that's wrong. If it were truly a fitting justification, then why continue on with a repetitive yawn-of-a-game that's more work than it's worth?

What, haven't you lied to yourself before? Excuses are always a flimsy coverup to justify an action. People live in logical fallacies to ignore what they wish to not perceive.

We are not complete. Do you understand?

------

"Maaan. Why do I have to dress up like some mountain rebel thief from some weird animation?" Hikaru complained, wearing a long-sleeved, tailored blue overcoat with shoulder covers over his white yukata top and pale tan baggy pants ending in thick heavy boots. Dangly, blue quartz earrings decorated his lobes, and thick pearly necklaces (gaudy and cheap-looking, Kaoru noted) hung around his neck. A fan jutted out from its casing connected to the back of a leather sash hidden under his right shoulder cover and ran down to his left hip. Lighter orange highlights streaked through his abnormally fiery orange hair, framing his brown eyes.

"Because." Kyouya stated, scribbling in his clipboard-folder. "The anime club won the Request Cosplay Contest that our club sponsored and profited from. No da." Glasses-less, he smirked eyes closed, dressed in the robes of a monk, his hair dyed a sky blue color (the bangs stuck out at a very odd angle), a realistic scar was etched from his forehead to his chin directly over his left eye, and an oddly shaped staff with rings at the top was cupped in his elbow.

"I know that.." the orange-haired twin pouted, "but why does Kaoru get dressed as a girl and not Haruhi?"

"That's exactly what I want to know!" The Host Club's president slammed his hands down on the table in regal, luxurious clothing fit for an emperor of China, long dark brown hair flowing from his head and contacts dimming his blue irises brown. "Daddy wants to see Haruhi in that, Kaoru!" He jabbed a finger at the unrecognizable Hitachiin twin, wearing a flowing five-layered kimono on, and a fan covering up his mouth. Apparently enjoying his character more than the others.

"I am Kourin, not Kaoru. And I belong to your harem, my lord." Tossing a wink at Suou Tamaki, Kaoru giggled, fluttering 'her' eyeslashes, flicking his long done-up purple hair to the side with a faux birth mark accentuating his left cheek bone, right beneath his eye.

His twin and their president fell over in shock.

"K..kaoru? You… don't love me anymore?" His usually-dominant brother whimpered a sigh.

"Oh of course I do! I cherish you every day!" Slapping the fan closed, he leaned over brushing his hand over his right cheek and grasping ahold of his left hand as he looked deeply into his eyes.

"Kaoru…" He whispered against his hand.

"Oh geez. Practicing for the customers?" An annoyed voice said.

Still hugging, the twins looked down at Haruhi smiling in unison and replying simultaneously, "Yes! How did you like it?" They both leaned in closer.

Dressed in a Chinese commoner's outfit, Haruhi rolled her currently purple eyes, eyebrows flicking up and down bringing attention to the red stamp of 'oni' dead center on her forehead. "I don't get it. Why is Kaoru the instigator this time?" She placed a finger at her chin. "Isn't Hikaru usually the one..?"

Looking aghast, the Hitachiin brothers wrapped their arms around her shoulders and played with her blue mop of hair. "You poor, poor girl!"

She tolerated their harassment; a far more easier goal than Tamaki's pestering.

"For a switch up!" Hikaru said matter-of-factly.

"Switch..up?" She muttered, chagrined at how they were mussing up her dyed hair. She still didn't know why they couldn't get her a wig.

"Yes!" They said together pulling away and flourishing their hands in a 'ta-da!' fashion. "It'd get boring for our clients, if we did the same act continuously!"

A great rumbling overtook the room then, and a shrill laugh overcame them. The platform spun as it rose, leaving bare, Renge's thin frame clothed in the most hideous school uniform the Host Club had ever seen, which comprised of a dirty brown mustard color outfit and a blue bow necktie. Pointing at the twins, the (self-made) manager's broad smile was framed by dark red curls falling from the buns protruding out the sides of her head, that if spiked would have looked like demon horns.

"They have the _correct_ understanding! Who wants to see the sweet twin always play the bottom? No! There must be spine! There must be a submission of the more active twin! That is BEAUTIFUL!" She laughed again, as the platform went to ground level, looking at the other two members who stayed off to a table keeping to themselves.

Morinozuka only gave Renge's appearance a brief glance. His head was wrapped by a bandana that did nothing to keep his black hair from sticking out. With a green obi tied at his waist to keep it in place, his relaxed yellow kimono top was left untucked from his pair of dark blue mountain hakama, which cuffed at the ankles. Shifting his slippered feet, he stood behind Haninozuka, who remained seated stuffing his face with cake. Honey's hair, straightened and dyed a deeper brown, stemmed out from the back of his head; the light green kimono being that of a child's spilled around him. "Takashi. This is so good! Mm-mm!"

The tallest Host remained silent at that but a smile quirked at his lips.

"A-ha! Our Fushigi Yuugi Cosplay Host Club transformation is complete! Deserves a thumbs up, yea! -heart-"

"Renge! Why is Haruhi not dressed as this 'Kourin'? It would suit him better!"

The twins stood aside, deadpanning. "Oh, my lord, now it's a matter of how it suits him? What happened to 'Daddy wants Haruhi in that'?"

Growing big Suou's eyes watered up as he pouted. "That's—"

"Because Haruhi, as Kishuku Sou, is the only one who is compatible with me, Yuuki Miaka, the Priestess of the Suzaku Seven, oh faux prince! O-hohohohohohohoho!" Renge verbally steamrolled him as he wailed at being called fake again.

Haruhi made a disgusted face. It wasn't that she didn't like Renge; when she wasn't in her crazy, obsessive spiels she was ok. Otherwise, she was just as annoying as Tamaki if not worse.

"Now! -heart- The Host Club is open!"

Squealing girls poured in as the Hosts took their respective positions and greeted them warmly.

Trying out their new act, the twins were well received, and the otakus all but mobbed them, asking which twin was which, guessing flippantly between the two. They grinned; Kaoru raised an eyebrow in unison with Hikaru reciting monotonously. "It's the 'Which one is Hikaru' game!"

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We are not complete. It's a lie. We need each other no doubt, but there's something missing that keeps ourselves disconnected. I've been aware of it since junior high. Hikaru is only now beginning to realize it.

TBC?

_A/N: For those of you who know Fushigi Yuugi, this is the cast in the order they appeared: Hikaru as Tasuki, Kyouya as Chichiri, Tamaki as Hotohori, Kaoru as Nuriko ('Kourin' is his crossdressing alias), Haruhi as Tamahome (Kishuku Sou is Tamahome's real name), Renge as Miaka, Mori as Mitsukake, and Honey as Chiriko. :D_

_A scary addition: Everyone's blood types (excluding Honey's) matched with the Suzaku Seven. The other exceptions are Renge and Kyouya because I couldn't find Renge's blood type or Chichiri's : Freaky though, huh? I didn't even try._


	2. Haruhi falls ill!

_Author's notes: Yay, go me updating quickly. :D School starts soon for me, so if updates are sparser beware!_

_A thank you goes out to **Keeper of Destiny**, for the review and thoughts and musings! I always love to hear from readers what they think and such. :)_

_Thanks **Quatre Winner**_ _for your input in the making of this chapter too!_

_Thanks for reading (89 hits in two hours? Wow.) and I hope you enjoy!_

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Most people think, _Oh look, how quaint. It's the shadow twin. I wonder how he feels about being controlled by his older twin._

I don't care.

That's his personality. That's what separates us. Hikaru is as dense as a slab of lead. He has the brains to compute differential calculus and to solve tough Organic Chemistry problems, but he hasn't an ounce of people smarts. He's whiny constantly talking about whatever offending or annoying thing that comes to mind, selfish only keeping me to himself, and childish hating to leave me alone for more than a few minutes, as if someone would smash me with a commoner brick if he wasn't there.

What people misunderstand is… If he wants to do something that I don't care about one way or another, I tag along. I'm only affected by his spontaneous whim in direct proportion to how bored I am. The more bored, the more likely to follow.

My point is, is that he's less 'controlling' as he is completely inept at relationship boundaries. Got it?

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"Haru-chan!"

"Heh… Honey-sempai?" Haruhi slowly cricked her neck to look down at her senior.

Flowers falling from the air around him, he gasped pulling away, holding the bunny rabbit up over his nose, eyes wide. "h..Haru-chan…?"

"I only have the sniffles." Her voice sounded raspy and deep.

There was a loud, audible gasp from the Hosts, all with differing faces: concern from Mori, worry from Honey, shock from the Twins, apathy from Kyouya, and finally alarm then disgust from Tamaki.

"The doctor said it's just strep throat." She shrugged.

"J-j-_just_ STREP! You're ill!" Suddenly by the snap of his forefinger and thumb, she was whisked away by Twins in nurses' outfits. "Take Haruhi to the infirmary immediately!"

"Haiiiiiii!" Hikaru and Kaoru had an equally mischievous grin on their faces as they dragged, for once, a compliant Haruhi.

"What are we going to do with today's cosplay, Tama-chan?"

"Honey-senpai! I have the perfect solution!" After which the blonde president spaced out to scene of a sick Haruhi in bed with a flushed face.

'Haruhi feels bad, Tamaki-senpai. Is Haruhi bad for catching this horrible commoner's disease?' Coughing lightly, her tearful gaze looked over the covers at him.

He grabbed her hand. 'I do not fear this strep throat! If I get ill then we'll share the same bed ok?'

A dazzling smile relieved all her pain. 'Tamaki-senpai...,' she said as she gave him a faint smile.

He wiggled around blushing like a newly wed, hands on his cheeks. "Haurhi, so cute!"

"Do englighten us, Dad." Kyouya never stopped scribbling on his clipboard.

"Mama! Mori-senpai, Honey-senpai! The plan lays out like this!"

As Mori stood next to him as always, Honey with a plateful of cake in hand listened held captive by their mad King's whim.

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The Special Male Student Nurse sighed walking out of the curtained off area, Haruhi behind her. "She'll be alright. Her family doctor was correct in his assertion that she's sick. Really, I'm a nurse, not a doctor, remember guys?" She glared daggers at the Twins. "Go back to your club activities!"

The Twins clutched onto each other eyes tearing up pathetically. "Hikaru," Kaoru began the scene the two often played out for their clients. Hikaru grabbed and threaded his fingers through Kaoru's hand, a finger under his chin, leaning close about to respond.

"Your fake tears don't work on me, boys." She crossed her arms, glasses flashing. "Now, OUT."

"Haiiii!" They ran out arms in the air. "Our lord will be displeased that you're holding Haruhi hostage!"

With a repulsed look on her face she watched them go. Then with a smile on her face she turned to Haruhi hands holding her elbows. "Now, Haruhi-kun! You're very contagious right now. I must insist that you follow your doctor's orders and stay home for the week before you make the other students sick."

"I don't want them following me home."

"I'm sure I can help you then..." The nurse smirked.

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A giant piece of plastic was draped around a circular area about thirty feet in diameter holding air in like a balloon, a large air-circulating device thrumming deeply next to it. A facemask over her mouth and nose, Haruhi sat in a plush chair where she could either look outside the window if she so chose or drink from the cup of medicinal tea that sat next to her on a small table nearby. She however chose to do nothing but look irked. This was _not_ what she meant when she refused to stay at home because of her throat.

The Hitachiin brothers came bustling into the plastic room in biohazard outfits seemingly to 'cater' to her, but so far the only thing they did was cater to her with their company. She found them to be the largest nuisance ever, and cursed them, including the rest of the club, for being 'rich bastards' under her breath.

After being shuttled home courtesy of the nurse calling her father to pick her up (which was very troublesome for him, she noted), the following morning she arrived at her usual early time at Ouran High after convincing her dad that she was fine. Stepping foot inside the large entry gate to the school, she was quite suddenly whisked away to the unused Music Room #3, and placed where she was currently at, which included a full-sized bed for rest if she wanted. Of course there were foldable blinds standing to the side, so she could dress into the cute pajamas the club president provided for extra comfort. _Yea, right, like I'll get any rest here._ She thought.

Tamaki had set the Biohazard mat up after Kyouya had regrettably told him that _Streptococcus pyogenes_ was highly contagious and that she would _have _stay home unless her illness was properly handled with bed rest, medicine and plenty of fluids. 'If her illness is managed improperly, she could get Scarlet Fever,' the vice president had stated coolly. Tamaki freaked with incoherent babbling at the news, and then Honey-senpai flailing his bunny around cried out. "Waahhh! Haru-chan's gonna die if she gets Scarlet Fever!" To which Tamaki replied that that would never happen with their resources and outlined the 'Haruhi's Disease Containment' plan. Mori just looked on calmly at the madness, opting not to comment, while the Twins stood rapt attention saluting to their president. 'Hail our lord!' they had shouted.

Every time she left the plastic room, inexplicably a male Nurse with gloves and a facemask on would scoop her up and, after passing through the first section cordoned off to keep the disease from 'spreading', place her back onto the chair. After awhile she quit trying to leave, and ended up spending the _entire school day _in this balloon thing. Of course, it would only make her bored and cranky.

The clock chimed three times signaling that club activites could begin. That's when the Twins showed up in their awkward, clumsy outfits.

"Haa-ru-hi!" They caroused, holding out a notebook. "All the teachers know you're out because you're sick, so we collected your notes!"

She blinked and took it. "Thank.. you." She had forgotten to ask them. By now her voice had degraded to a soft gravely sound. She could hardly speak as it was, when this morning she could pass off her gruff voice to being tired to her dad. Opening the notebook she looked into it finding very neat handwriting.

Crinkling of the side of the her plastic cage alerted her first to Tamaki's presence followed by incoherent babbling of 'You're gong to be okay! Daddy's here!'

She glared at him, then looked at them all outside of her bubble. The Twins, having delivered schoolwork to her, shed the clunky biohazard suits. They were cosplaying some kind of hospital drama. All, excluding Tamaki, in doctor's or nurses' outfits with obvious rank differences. She was stunned. What was she, a freak show for clients? Enraged she stood up to give them all a piece of her mind, and subsequently fainted from low-blood pressure.

"Haruhi!" A chorus of alarm went up,

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She woke up in her own bed, in her own room. Her digital clock washed the room in dim blue light. Looking at the face, she sat up quickly and just as quickly fell back down. _School!_ She thought frantically. How could she have slept through a day, missing another day of school? The sun was setting.

Staring up at the ceiling, she knew she had pushed herself too hard. She always seemed to do that. Seeing shadows from the remnants of the sunlight peeking through the blinds, she looked over to wish it a farewell until the next morning, and was surprised to find half of her room filled with 'Get well soon' baskets, flowers, and stuffed animals.

She secretly liked stuffed animals, but avoided them whenever she could. Laying and staring at all the gifts though urged her to pick one out. Having made her decision, she pulled the card out of the arms of the most cuddable teddy bear, and took it into her arms snuggling it.

Closing her eyes, she drifted off again.

Nudging the ajar door open a little more, cramped in the Fujioka hallway, the Host club members peeked in simultaneously.

"MY TED--!" Hands clamped over Tamaki's mouth. His tears of happiness outpouring that she had chosen _his_ gift above all others!

"Shh, my lord. She's fallen asleep." The Hitachiin brothers had been very quick to silence him.

However Hikaru couldn't help himself, musing "Is this the first time she's fallen asleep with someone else's teddy bear? But wait isn't _this_ your teddy bear, my lord?" Grinning he showed the stuffed animal that indeed belonged to the club president.

Tamaki's face fell and his tears turned cold in his upset.

Bunny in arms, Haninozuka replied, "Yeah… I think that's the gift Renge had picked out for her, but.. I didn't see it in there before…" Mori was quietly watching the bundle that was Haruhi sleep, breathing even.

The calculating Hitachiin brother chuckled. His grin flagged that it was indeed him that Tamaki should focus his anger on. However, both Twins stood up and ran out of the apartment, laughing out at Tamaki's frustrated yelling.

The vice president continued writing whatever he did on his notepad clipboard, a knowing smile on his face. It was he, afterall, who had exchanged the bears.

"You boys aren't planning on staying over tonight, hmm?" Haruhi's father popped up, whispering. "I regrettfully must let you all out. While I appreciate your babysitting over my daughter, it's late. You all have school in the morning, right?"

Honey nodded and spoke in affirmative.

"Then we're sorry for troubling you Ranka-san." Kyouya said. "If there's any way to compensate you for your time..."

He was waved off and giggled at, and the club members were shown the door, all saying their goodbyes. Though the Twins were still out being chased by Tamaki, so they missed the farewells...

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As I said before, if he wants to do something that I don't care about one way or another, I tag along. Whoever says that I only follow has no idea who I am. Hikaru at least knows me well enough that I restrain my impulses, and I have alot if not more than he does. That's probably why he considers me the 'darker' half of our duo.

I think he'd have been more suited as the younger brother. I see things that normal younger brothers don't tend notice. Or is that just an overgeneralization about siblings?

Why can't he ever see that the people I develop an affinity to are never as important to me as he is? Maybe I should return the favor. I've noticed that for some time Haruhi has been the object of his attention.

It was his idea to invite her to Bali with us for summer vacation. He was the one that had a tantrum when a fellow middle school classmate showed up of sudden.

But it was my idea to give her his old cell phone… Maybe… maybe I like her a little bit too.

Don't get any bright ideas. I don't like her _that_ much.

TBC.


	3. A Birthday Party

_Author's Notes: I'm up to episode 20 now. -squee- :D School still hasn't started but it will in a couple of weeks. Be warned._

_This came to me out of the blue. There's no real cosplay, but it connects to the last chapter. Maybe the continuity is starting to show, ne:3 _

_A thank you goes out to **mentally unstable X3**, **CrazyInsaneAnimeFanGirl**, **Experimental**, **alchemistgrl09**, **Kensuke Kurama**, **Youko's Befuddle Little Fox**, and **Lavena Liadan** for the wonderful reviews, encouragements, and thoughts and comments! Thank you, as reviewers you help me write faster and inspire me. :)_

_And to everyone reading, enjoy!_

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Middle school. I don't miss it. We were horrible then; every confessing girl was the same as every other girl. We had played an abridged version of "Which one is Hikaru?" back then. Every time the temptation was too much for them. They succumbed to the thought of at least having an identical face to their 'true' crush. Each time it was a let down for us, but what could we expect? We would act as one or the other, switching each other out like acting doubles. We wanted someone to accept the both of us as separate beings, yet as one.

Our first crush, the maid, had been right about that to an extent. What were the chances of someone seeing the subtle difference between two identical twins deliberately acting the same? Little to none. 'Probably not in your entire lives,' she had said. The chance was that low.

I've never forgotten that. I don't think Kaoru has either.

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"Haruhi, my daughter! I'm so glad you're alright!" She was physically lifted and spun around.

Mori grabbed her by the nape though and set her down. Looking up she thanked him with a small smile.

"Lord, shouldn't you be careful? She just recovered. What if she had fainted?" The Twins asked perfectly synchronized.

Pressing a hand to his chest over his heart, he smiled beauteously. "I would have awoken her with a kiss!"

"Great." Haruhi stated sarcastically.

"Haru-hiiiii… I'm sorry!"

She slammed her book bag down, and screeched the chair to the only desk in the room back. "I'm studying." The rest of them were jarred into silence at her bluntness.

"But what about today's cosplay? What about your customers!" The president wailed. "Mama, do something!"

"Your debt will be increased if you miss your appointments." Kyouya helpfully supplied.

"Rejected. I don't care right now. My grades are in danger of slipping. I scored 3rd place on the mid-year exams remember? I can't afford to do the same with the finals."

"In that case, by all means study."

"Mama, don't encourage her!"

"My lord," Hikaru began, "If Haruhi drops from being number one in class…"

"She will lose her financial aid," Kaoru ended.

"And if that happens," they continued together, "Haruhi will drop out of Ouran High School!"

"Wahh! I don't want Haru-chan to be expelled!" Honey cried out, squeezing his bunny tightly. "Yea." Mori grunted.

Suoh Tamaki thought to himself that he was in a bind. Snapping his fingers, he thrust his hand out towards her. "I will take care of the bill! I will take your debt unto myself!"

"I refuse. Thanks for the offer though."

Completely losing his color, the club president whined, "Haruhiiiii." He squatted in the corner, the dark gloomy cloud above him keeping him company. Which would it be? Lose his precious Host or lose his club's prestige? He couldn't part with either.

"Poke. Poke." Honey said as he poked the depressed Tamaki.

"King, why don't we make up a plan?"

Energized he stood up excited at his second-in-command's nudge. "Yes! We won't lose her; we'll cosplay around Haruhi! The 'Poor Boy Must Study Or Risk Expulsion' Plan commences!"

She tried hard to ignore their yammering, particularly Tamaki's, as she caught up in her reading and journal entries. Only three days of absence and she was already this far behind! And homework on top of that! This was a very undesirable position for her to be in.

"Haruhi." A soft voice took her out of her stressed out reverie, and corrected her mistake between the two families in a classical tragedy they were learning about in English class. "Romeo was a Montague, not Juliet."

"Ah, thanks Kaoru." She said still focused on her work.

"I'm Hikaru, not Kaoru," He tried.

"Like I said before. Kaoru is Kaoru and Hikaru is Hikaru. You may act the same but you're not." She didn't even glance back to make sure.

Kaoru put his hands akimbo. "Hikaru and I wanted to know if you wanted to come to our birthday party next week."

"You're inviting people over this time?" Haninozuka popped his head up on the other side of Haruhi.

He hadn't wanted to invite the other Hosts at all; blast the short martial artist. "Yes, we're tired of our mother inviting whomever she likes."

"Can I come, can I come, Kao-chan? Pleaaaase?"

"No way!" Hikaru leaned against Kaoru an arm around his shoulders; as one they pronounced, "We invite only who we want to invite, and you're not invited!"

"Mmm…" Honey's eyes started tearing up as he whimpered pitifully. "Hika-chan, Kao-chan. That's mean."

"Mitsukuni. If they don't want to invite you without reason, that's their decision." Mori's mouth was in a thin line as Honey threw himself into his arms bawling. His look promised something dire to the two if they did not remedy the situation.

Looking at one another and shrugging, the Hitachiin brothers sighed heavily raising their hands. "Fine, but you have to promise not to eat all of our birthday cake."

"Hai, hai!" Tears gone in a flash, the cutesy flowers that always seemed to bloom around Haninozuka showed up again as he giggled with his bunny on his head still in Morinozuka's arms. Kaoru knew to add Mori to their list of guests automatically even if he didn't ask to come.

"If Haruhi is going, I, as her daddy, must chaperone her too!"

"Definitely, not." Expressionless, they hung off each other waiting for the inevitable tantrum.

"Why, why, _why_? Why is Honey-senpai invited, but _I_, as your senpai and your club president, am not also invited? Am I not beautiful enough?" He struck a pose, the air seeming to glitter around him.

Slamming a book on her desk, her chair's feet let out a scream as she pushed it back across the marble floor. She turned her head, her face riddled with twitch marks. "I never said I was going! You, two! Stop deciding things on your own!"

"We'll have ootoro."

"No, you guys bribed me once but not agai—!" "Crab." Mori stated.

The Hosts held their breath when Haruhi stopped in the middle of her rant, looking thoughtful.

"Yes! We'll have crab!" The Twins agreed right away.

Shaking her head to snap out of it, she looked annoyed. "I don't care about that. I don't have any money saved up because I didn't know it was your birthday. What kind of guest would I be, if I didn't bring a present to the hosts' birthday?" She said with a responsible tone. "Don't you guys ever think first? Really, you're so troublesome." She sat back down to finish her work, but a shiver went down her spine as lightning flashed dramatically behind the other Hosts.

Giggling, Tamaki and Honey smiled wiggling, while Hikaru and Kaoru grinned mischievously clinging to each other. "She's poor, but so cute!" The four said together.

Kyouya smirked. "I could arrange for a proper gift for them."

"No, thank you." She knew he'd tack it onto her debt. He was the reason that she couldn't fall below 5 million yen! All those hidden fees and costs of being a Host never helped her out, and she figured it was a deliberate ploy on the Shadow King's part.

The Twins looked at each other. What could they do to change her mind? They'd used up most of their lifetime's worth of pranks on her already.

"I took the liberty of inviting Ranka-san to the event. It would only be proper to have his daughter come along too."

The Hitachiin brothers looked coolly at Kyouya. Who made him the event planner? Kaoru wondered. But it did the trick, he noticed.

Laying her head down defeated, she knew she had lost the fight. Knowing her father, he had already picked out the gifts and the dress she was going to wear.

"Then it's settled. I'm coming along too!" The president invited himself out loud.

Grumbling, she muttered, "Damn, Shadow King." He had known she was going to refuse out of stubbornness and asked her father beforehand. It was all premeditated! Glasses flashing, the vice president smirked in amusement at her pet name for him, his writing stopped for the moment.

"It's at our mansion. The party begins at six in the evening. Guests will be escorted to the gardens from the front door. Don't be late!"

Hugging each other, Hikaru looked at Kaoru. This wasn't what we planned, his eyes seemed to say. Oh, well. It should be fun, ne? Kaoru's look replied.

"Yay! Yay! We're going to a birthday party!" Honey repeated several times as the clock chimed for the 3 o'clock club activities, and their early clients flocked in.

Caught off-guard (excluding Kyouya of course) none of them having time to cosplay, their loose positioning was a surprise for the girls. "Welcome!" the Hosts greeted together, even Haruhi who was sitting down.

Tamaki loudly declared the Natural type's plight and over-exaggerated everything as usual, going so far as to say that she would be tossed out on the street and living out of garbage like a stray, but she wisely kept her mouth shut.

Meanwhile, the Twins greeted Haruhi's designations and explained that they would take care of them for the day ushering the girls to their table, but giving them plenty of room to watch their Host study, sitting in the chairs that the brothers usually took.

Haruhi did her best to ignore the sympathetic gasps and sighs coming from them all, and couldn't help but think how much she couldn't stand 'free-living' rich people with their condescending attitudes.

By the end of the club activity, she had caught up her work with all her classes, and could finish that day's homework at home. Thank god, she mentally sighed in relief. She hadn't wanted to leave this school, eccentric rich people aside, and that was that.

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"Oh this is wonderful! How do I look, Haruhi?" Her father fluttered about in a gorgeous gown that was more flamboyant than usual, face applied with the appropriate amount of makeup.

She grunted unenthusiastically. While he had insisted that she wear makeup, she only agreed to lipstick and a few brushes of eye shadow. The dress though simply made her self-conscious by the many frills and lace that tumbled about her. You'd think it had come out of a Pink House magazine, and her hair had heart-shaped barrettes parting it to the left. Luckily her father knew her enough to give her an unglamorous purse and flat-heeled dress shoes, though he didn't let her get away without the matching pair of elbow-long satin gloves. She was not thrilled or looking forward to her fellow Hosts' reactions.

"Splendid!" Ryouji exclaimed at his daughter, hugging her tight. "You're so cute! Now let's go!" With a flick of his hand he composed himself, letting Haruhi go first. Walking out the door locking it behind him, she was the first to notice a limo stretched out in front of the apartment.

Once they made their way down the stairs, a doorman stepped out and opened the door for them; empty shiny black leather seats stared back at them. "Compliments of Tamaki-bocchama."

"Ah! Wonderful! Get in here, Haruhi!" He squealed as he turned on the tv and switched through the channels then pressed as many buttons around him as he could.

The air blasted freezing air from one time to heat at another before his daughter could calmly turn it to a normal level as she settled into the chair and the door shut behind her.

The tinted glass between the driver and them slid up and down as her father continued to let out peals of joy. The driver/doorman smiled and tilted his head at Haruhi as he slid into his seat aiming a knowing smile at her.

She couldn't help smiling back. She guessed her dad reminded him of Tamaki. How embarrassing.

--------

"How do I look?" Hikaru asked for the eleventh time.

"Fine. Hikaru, stop pacing."

"You first." They stopped at the same moment as the door opened and their personal maids entered.

"Kaoru-sama, Hikaru-sama. The guests have begun to arrive." The maids with the same stony-expression commented, "Is there perhaps a certain person that has caught the masters' eyes? Is it that girl?"

The Twins arched their eyebrows. "No. Nobody has 'caught our eye'."

"Well, we like her, masters. Best of luck." They skittered out realizing that their wards were unlikely to spill the beans or give them work to do.

Kaoru, straightening his bowtie and cufflinks for the nth time, reached for the door.

"Wait, Kaoru. Who'll dance with her first?"

Dropping his hand, the twin crossed his arms leaning on the door, thinking, then shrugged pulling out a coin from his pocket. "I say leave it to chance. Heads, I win."

"Fine."

"One, two, three." They chanted together as the coin flipped in the air. Kaoru slapped it to the top of his hand.

"I lost! No way, you cheated!"

"I did not."

Hikaru snatched the metal from his palm inspecting it. "Liar, this is the two-headed coin we own!"

"You placed the bet, it's not my fault that your bet had a 100 percent chance of not winning. You're the math genius, remember?"

His brother sighed, grinning. "You like her alot too, don't you Kaoru?"

"Not all of our tastes are the same." He answered. Opening the door before Hikaru could rebut that, he exited heading down the expansive hallway, towards the gardens.

Before they stepped out in view, the elder twin caught up with the younger and they linked hands striding confidently into the large foyer and down the marble steps to the open air party. They were met with a resounding applause and a loud "Happy Birthday!" In response they smiled, waving at their guests as their mother received them at the bottom of the stairs.

--------

Kyouya was rather content about the events transpiring within the Host Club. Give or take the extent of a certain person's stubbornness, the plan would progress quickly from here. If everything more or less went according to plan.

He flexed his right hand, somewhat cramped from all the writing he had been doing of late.

At formal parties, manners dictated that he could not write around guests. It was the only thing that stopped him from carrying around his clipboard-notebook. Sometimes though if something struck him as important, he stole away by himself to jot the key points in a small notepad he kept in his back pocket.

Morinozuka-senpai and Haninozuka-senpai were somewhere over in the vicinity of the very long narrow banquet table with a large array of foods to choose from. Beyond that Kyouya knew little of what they were up to besides enjoying the party. His attention was on the exuberant blonde.

He was the type of fellow that was the hit of every party, primarily with the ladies. As he fluttered from woman to woman, all fell to his notorious gigolo abilities, but he always pulled away right after a string of poetic romance fell past his lips, enough to make his wooing appear shameless, yet courtly.

Haruhi had surprised him when she asked what merit there was in befriending Tamaki. He had smiled then as he smiled now. It was hard to explain, and that was that.

Speak of the devil, he noted coolly to himself as Haruhi stepped out of the limousine Tamaki had lent to them with her okama father in tow.

She looked stunningly cute, not nauseatingly so, but unaffected by the stares of people. Not that Kyouya would have thought anything more of her. After the large gatherings from Host events, she was unflappable and poised, not bothered one bit by the wave of murmured wonderment over who she was. Haruhi was not a celebrity or from a recognizable nouveau riche family.

Seeing him, she smiled and walked towards him, a firm hand around her father's wrist to keep him from wandering off on his own. The murmuring grew ever more heated. How could she know someone as high-end as an Ohtori and not be recognizable? Who is she? Kyouya could do nothing but smirk in immense pleasure at their confusion. Dolts.

Hearing the beginning round of applause at what he knew to be the Hitachiin brothers' entrance, he moved towards her as well, keeping the possibility of Tamaki seeing her and mucking up the plan at a bare minimum.

"Kyouya-senpai, good evening." She curtsied voicing the proper manners, but otherwise treating him like an equal. A minority of the onlookers, who were still focused on them and not on their hosts, were quite possibly starting to fear her, probably wondering who she was to be treating him as such and to be receiving as much attention from him as she did.

"Good evening, Haruhi." Bending into a bow, he took her hand and kissed it as a gentleman would before pulling back and bowing slightly to her father, even as a faint 'Happy Birthday!' sounded a distance from them, nearer to the house. "And you too, Ranka-san."

"Oh my, oh my! I've got butterflies from how lavish this party is! Thank you ever so much for inviting us!" As he tried to wander away again but was stopped once again by his daughter he whined lightly. "Haruhiiii. I can take care of myself."

"Yes, but can you behave yourself?" Releasing him, she crossed her arms in an unladylike fashion, shooting a stern look at her father. "Can I trust you to do that?"

"Of course!" He winked at her giggling before his voice grew deep and ominous. "As long as you promise me that you won't be kissing anyone else."

Her cheek twitched as she nodded. Then with another giggle, he winked at her and fluttered away.

Kyouya took her hand leading her closer to the house, releasing her when he deemed that she had gotten the hint to follow him. Right as they stepped onto the outspread faux wooden platform, the large outdoor orchestra began a slow waltz. He stopped and bowed slightly offering his hand gracefully. "May I have this dance?"

She paused before taking it. The waltz sped up.

"You're only in the club because you like to chitchat with other girls and to pay off your debt, correct?"

"Yes. I refuse to be indebted to anyone."

He smiled maneuvering them closer to the goal he had in mind. Albeit, a roundabout way.

"You're absolutely certain it's not because you've become overly attached to any of your fellow Hosts?" He asked innocently, which coming from him was not innocent at all.

Startled by the question, she almost stumbled tripping on her voluminous dress but he sidestepped and allowed for her to regain her balance. "W-what? No. Definitely not."

"Don't mind my curious ruminations. They're only speculation." He smiled enigmatically as the music ended and bowed leaving her alone facing away, but directly in front of, the Twins.

She frowned still baffled at Kyouya's odd questioning. Of course she'd expose herself as a girl after her debt was settled. Then, then… She couldn't think of what that left her with. She couldn't imagine that her designations would be thrilled about her being a girl.

"Good evening, Haruhi-chan." They couldn't stop from saying as one, bowing together.

Spinning around in surprise, she smiled all signs of her frown and worry gone, curtsying to one, then the other. "Good evening, Hikaru. Good evening, Kaoru."

As the music began to pick up again after the brief intermission, Kaoru stepped forward hand outstretched. "May I have this dance?"

---------------------

This was our chance. We have to take it. When will the next time come where another such person arrives?

Probably never again for the rest of our lives.

TBC

_A/N: Please forgive me for stopping there. It seemed like a good stopping point and I didn't want to make this chapter longer than it already is. Also, no doubt by now you see which pairing seems to be showing throughout right?_

_Stay tuned for the next chapter! _

_'Hai' means 'yes' or 'ok'._

_'Ootoro' is a delicacy. It's like the difference between filet mignon and round eye steak, where ootoro is the mignon and akami is the round eye steak. :) Ootoro and akami are tuna._

_ An 'okama' is a crossdresser or a gay person. There doesn't seem much discrepancy between the two in the word itself.  
_


	4. A Birthday Part II

_I am sorry readers!! Anywho, I don't remember what I put up here when it got wiped. DX_

_Enjoy.  
_

* * *

Hikaru watched his brother and their classmate dance together. If he could read her expression, she seemed to be enjoying herself. Her outfit had been a surprise because it was clearly un-Haruhi. He assumed that her father had picked it out for her; Hikaru had never seen her in so much lace and frills. Somehow, it suited her, even though he knew it really shouldn't.

"Son, who is _that_ girl?"

By 'that' Hikaru knew instantly she was referring to Haruhi because she was dancing with his twin. Their mother had given up telling the difference between the two of them, but neither hated her for it. None of their fellow Hosts could tell when they switched places either, unless they figured out early in the day, but about half the time they were wrong because the Twins would deliberately trick them.

"Fujioka Haruhi. She's in the same class as us." He answered, an eye on the two dancing. At least his heart had stopped fluttering after the sixth or seventh time Kaoru and Haruhi flowed out of sight, weaving in and out of the crowd.

"Ohhh... Is that why you always ask for a collection of swimsuits, dear? A bit of show and tell? And here I thought I had raised fashion deviants."

He grinned at his mother. Fashion deviant? He knew she would have giggled at the sight of her sons crossdressing the second time those Zuka Club girls showed up. "No way. She wouldn't let us dress her up like that as much as we try to. She's more comfortable in men's clothing."

Hitachiin-kaasama looked at her son who was pleasantly smiling at his brother and his dancing partner, humming slightly to herself. "If that's the case, why didn't you say so? Though I agree, feminine clothing is very befitting of her thin frame."

Arching an eyebrow, he about asked his mother what she meant by that mischievous twinkle in her eyes, but she clapped her hands as if to clear them of dust and smoothed out her ballroom gown as they were approached by a wealthy heir and his fiancée. "Well, if it isn't Suzushima-kun, Kasugasaki-chan. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

The couple smiled happily, standing close together as Tohru bowed and Kanako curtsied shyly. "Well-wishing your sons' birthday." Suzushima Tohru replied.

"Hitachiin-san. This is our thank-you gift for you and the rest of your club…" Kanako held out a small package, big enough to fit into the palm of Hikaru's hand. "Thank you very much, and I apologize for intruding into a party I was not invited to, but I felt it rude not to give _something_ in return for your kindness. And since we won't be in country for your second party…"

"It's fine." He bowed back and placed it in the pocket of his coat jacket, so it could opened around the other Hosts as well. It wasn't worth the effort to bring up the point to her that he wasn't the person mainly responsible for their happiness and thus the least likely to accept her present for the Host Club as a whole, and didn't really care because he didn't want to talk to her longer than he had to. In all things he had learned as a Host he knew acting out on those particular feelings would end in rudeness. He muttered farewell already bored wandering off to watch his brother and Haruhi dance.

Then a jolt of panic hit him when he realized that he didn't know where Kaoru and Haruhi had gone before his eyes settled back on them; They had finished dancing and were getting drinks at the long table of refreshments. He headed towards them, an arm automatically slinging across Kaoru's shoulders. He began to breath just a little easier as Haruhi looked at him worriedly. "Are you alright?"

"He's fine. You know how he is when I'm not around." Kaoru answered quietly for him.

"Oh," She said, turning her head to look at the others dancing to give them a moment.

Kaoru patted his arm looking back at him with a curious look; Hikaru smirked.

His twin rolled his eyes at him to show that, while he was slightly frustrated at Hikaru's behavior, he wouldn't lose him so easily.

Meanwhile, the fiancée murmured a question towards their mother and she replied with a smile. That brought a blush to the Suzushima heirs. The twins' mother blinked curiously. Why would answering that her sons' were courting Fujioka Haruhi elicit such a response? How peculiar. They excused themselves quickly before they were seen by their other schoolmates. They had wondered why no one from school had been invited to this party, and had in fact all been invited to the second formal.

"My daughter!! There you are!"

Haruhi's head jerked up just as Tamaki's arms wrapped around her and scooped her up. He squealed in rapture at how precious she was and how much he wanted her all to himself, but she was saved (yet again) by Mori.

As the taciturn 'wild' type placed her lightly on her feet, she gave Tamaki an annoyed look as he continued his unintelligible squealing. "Senpai." She stated simply, trying to quell his tirade of words. "_Senpai!_" But to no avail, he continued rambling on.

The poor girl was blushing rather profusely at the attention she was gathering from the crowd around them, and was resigned to fail at shushing him.

Then Honey joined in with Tamaki's jubilance at Haruhi's cuteness, except he knew better than to glomp her at a formal event such as this. Their president, however, apparently didn't and pulled her into another large hug, cooing over how adorably cute she was. Blush finally banished, her face showed complete and utter annoyance at his 'fathering'. When would he figure it out that he was acting more like what the scholarship student imagined how a boyfriend would act.

"Suoh-san." Kyouya's cool voice cut through his eccentric behavior as he looked up in reply at his best friend, curiously. He had been looking everywhere for Kyouya, but for some reason he had been rather elusive to catch up to.

Adjusting his glasses, he sighed. "Compose yourself. Ranka-san—"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY PRECIOUS HARUHI?!" Her real father shouted angrily, cuffing his ear before pulling on it and causing Tamaki to release and step away from his 'daughter'.

"Too late." The vice president had moved out of the way when he heard the enraged cry of an overprotective parent.

"Wahhh! I'm very very very very sorry, Father-sama!! Owowowowoowowowowowow!"

"Ahhh… Who is this my sons?" Hitachiin-mother finally spoke. She had been watching the group interact very curious of her boys' friends, but at the entrance of the older 'woman' she particularly eyed the crossdresser a sparkle alighting her eyes.

Hikaru and Kaoru smirked in tandem. "This is Fujioka-san!" They bowed arms outstretched towards him in introduction.

"Hmm?" Haruhi's father blinked then looked around, giggling as he placed hands on his face, all sugar and hearts. "My, my, my! I'm truly sorry you saw that, but I have to protect my daughter from certain idiot's wandering hands, you know?"

Tamaki whimpered another apology ineffectually before he received glares from pretty much everyone, Kyouya and Mori excluded.

"It's a pleasure... 'Ranka-san', is it?" Their mother looked intensely at the okama before her.

Ryoji tilted his head blinking, realizing how luxuriously dressed the woman before him was, then blushed fluttering about. "Yes! That is my name. May I ask the lovely lady hers?"

The Twins knew better than to answer for their mother. She loathed people who introduced her, when she was perfectly capable.

"Hitachiin Suyetsuyama. I think you've picked a wonderful dress for my sons' birthday party!" She beamed at him.

"So you are the mother of these wonderful boys!!" He countered with an equally pleased cheer.

"You have such a wonderful genius of a daughter is what I've heard, Fujioka-san."

"Your sons always entertain my Haruhi every day of the week! I never hear an end to it!"

Along with their fellow Hosts, the Twins arched an eyebrow at Haruhi, hands at their waists, mirroring each other.

"He's overexaggerating. I don't talk that much about any single person in the Host Club." She grumbled, embarrassed.

"Mother! You need to talk to our Haruhi about her behavior with her 'brothers'! I will not tolerate scandalous incestuous affairs!!" Tamaki exclaimed with vehemence pointing at the Twins, obviously directed at Kyouya who merely smirked and adjusted his glasses.

"But Lord.." Kaoru lightly blinked and slowly opened his eyes half-way, leaning against his brother, lips parting suggestively. "You let us do whatever _we_ want… Right Hikaru?"

'Right' was the reply as Hikaru traced fingers under his jaw as they both looked at Tamaki's shocked face with bemused grins. Their mother seemed calm about their behavior possibly quite used to it, chatting with Haruhi's father to divert his attention for the moment.

"That's _brotherly_ play!!! It's _not_ the same!" Tamaki suddenly grabbed Haruhi by the shoulders declaring seriously, "My daughter, I will not let those unscrupulous Twins lay their hands on you. As your father I will—??!" A hand on Tamaki's shoulder stopped his tirade; he turned his head and saw Ranka-san's eyes glow a frighteningly violet color. "There can only be _one _father. And _you're not it_."

Their poor president turned an ashen-white color and fell to the ground mumbling incoherently. "There can only be one…"

"You're right there's only one!!" With that Ranka-san flipped his hair back and laughed evilly.

"Aw, Tama-chan. You're not an immortal." Honey giggled at him poking. "Takashi, Takashi! We should get him a few gingerbread cookies with that orange sorbet I saw! That would cheer him up right away!"

"Aa"

The Twins clapped at Ranka-san's display. "Maybe you should be our new lord?"

"I am no _lord_! Surely you jest!" His eyes glowed red as wind blew dramatically. The same shiver of fear ran down their backs as the Twins reasserted what they meant. "You'll be our Lady Ranka!"

"That's right, and don't forget it!" Ranka said shaking his finger at them.

"Yes, m'am!" They saluted him together, while Tamaki whined pitifully. "I've been dethroned…"

While his seniors went to go find food for the stressed-out (ex?)president and his juniors were currently preoccupied by Haruhi's father, Kyouya turned and bowed to the Twins' mother. "Hitachiin-san. It's a pleasure."

"Ootori-kun, your mediations in the Host Club are most appreciated. If there's anything I can provide to ensure my sons remain well entertained…" She leaned closer whispering something close to Kyouya's ear. He stood perfectly still, then a true smile dawned on his face as she stood back and he readjusted his glasses. "Of course, Hitachiin-san. Something can be arranged."

Haruhi facevaulted. _Leave it up to Kyouya to plot something for money._

"Haru-chan, Haru-chan!"

She turned to Honey as he bounded towards her holding a plate of cookies and a melted pile of orange slush out to her. He slowed down as he neared her, when he was intercepted by Kyouya, who, with an insistent smile, took the plate from Honey. Suddenly tripping, the plate flew out of his hand and slapped the food against her beautiful dress. As the vice president apologized in sincere flowery prose, she stared down at the brown stain that the orange sorbet had left on her white-laced blue satin dress , then shrugged. For all she knew, he had done it deliberately. "It's alright, Kyouya-senpai. It's not a rental."

"Ahahahahah… Actually… Ha-ru-hi, Kyouya helped me pick out the dress."

"I can't believe I'm hearing this. " She stood up straightening her dress, and glared at her father, who giggled lightly and smiled innocently, while he exchanged a high-five with Kyouya, who subtly closed the gap between Tamaki and the scene that was playing out between Haruhi and the Twin's mother. Honey asked the host club president if he wanted some cookies, who ignored the crowd's staring around him.

Hitachiin-mother blinked staring at Haruhi as if she had suddenly sprouted wings and a tail. "Haruhi, dear… this way please." She smiled pleasantly at the poor girl's predicament even though there was a miscommunication. Haruhi didn't care about the dress, but rather the price of it.

Haruhi looked to her father who shrugged and waved her to go on, as the Twins followed behind her.

Together they entered a large room of designed dresses similar in style to what Haruhi was wearing, and they were all a tailored fit for her she realized blinking. When the Twins went directly into the room pulling out dresses left and right, she stepped back to escape only to bump into Hitachiin-mother, who simply smiled with a twinkle in her eyes.

The Twins rounded the corner with their maids and a huge rack of flowery dresses. "Haruhi!"

In response, Haruhi picked up the front of her dress daintily, thinking of how wasteful it was to make so much clothing she wouldn't even wear. "No."

"Not manly enough for her?" Kaoru asked innocently to Hikaru who snapped his fingers. The maids rolled out another rack of clothing, all very tasteful men's clothing. She sighed in defeat, knowing it was useless to try to escape a wardrobe change.

"Ah, good choices of color." Their mother stated lifting up a suit to inspect. "And they've been tailored and trimmed for her short stature. Excellent specimens, sons."

"Thanks, Mama!" They answered smugly together.

"Now, Fujioka-san. You may choose anything you'd like to keep." Suyetsuyama said softly, and then sharply turned to the maids. "Girls, you are acquainted with her, correct?"

They nodded in unison.

"Prepare a changing room for her, and bring in the cabinet." With a clap, she dismissed them. "Sons, return to your birthday party. I'm sure you are missed."

They hadn't stopped grinning since their mother started and simultaneously agreed with her command, vacating the room. "Yes, yes, Mother!"

Turning to Haruhi after her sons had left, she purred out, "Now my dear, would you like to view my personally designed accessories? I have plenty of jewelry that could wonderfully accent your neck."

"I don't really have a choice in the manner, do I?" She said calmly as an overlarge boutique was rolled in and opened for Suyetsuyama who plucked a few choice ones out.

"Of course you do. Now would you like blue quartz or green jade to match this wonderful burgundy suit? Or perhaps sea-green suit is more to your taste?"

Haruhi sighed, now seeing where the Twins received their steamrolling tendencies, resigned to play dress up.

TBC.


End file.
